Shrine in the Ether

More angst...

The cable channel USA is supposedly looking for a male host who, according to them, "will change the face of television"... The plug advertised for someone who is, "Hindi lang basta gwapong nag-i-ingles..."

Yeah, right! I bet you a million bucks (if I had it), that's the kind of host they would most likely get...some half-blood (Eurasian, Amerasian) with the looks and the twang, everyone seems to go gaga over, but not necessarily the talent to go with the package...

These talent searches fool people into thinking that they're looking for breakthrough talent but the truth is, they'll hand over the post to the next ravishing person who auditions regardless of whether she or he has the IQ of an eggplant...

My 8 year old niece loves watching this fantaserye (fantasy series) called 'Marina' so I sometimes catch glimpses of the program, although I'll never really watch it, for the life of me.

It's definitely fishy, if you ask me...

The guy who plays Marina's husband is a terrible actor who cannot speak straight Filipino...but I recognized he's cute for the general public so there you go, he bagged a leading role in a TV series.

to say his acting sucks is an understatement...

Anyway, I've ragged about this enough already so I think I should rest my case (see Frustrated, Inc.).

By the way, I'm going to a job interview in about three hours...what? and leave my carefree lifestyle behind??? Well, freelancing had been fun but it does leave me restless and well...angtsy....I think I need something regular to do...three hours a day just doesn't cut it...and with virtually all my friends being so busy, I cannot help but think I'm not being very useful.

The thing that I hate most about job-hunting though is that companies take a looong time to process your application...by the time they call you back with an offer, you have already accepted another job which you only took because you're tired of waiting...

I also hate having to wait in line to be interviewed...Don't tell me to come at 3pm if you intend to interview me at friggin' 5pm...I walk out of such appointments, all of the time, doesn't matter if I want the job really badly...I have absolute respect for other people's time so I expect mine to be treated the same way...

Think maybe I should just be a barista or something?

It's defintely brainless and could be fun, too...plus they hire you on the spot...hmmm...

I woke up this afternoon with a vision hanging above my head, no I'm not having a premonition a la Phoebe Halliwell, but it's just as weird and eerie...for the first time in a long while, I actually remembered my dream!

I like remembering my dreams, it just proves to me that I actually went to la la land (as how someone I know refers to that place, wherever that is...). But on second thought, I might as well have not remembered because what it was, was more like a nightmare.

I dreamt that I was 12 again and waiting for my turn to speak in an extemporaneous speech contest. The emcee called my name and I walked towards the podium to fish for a piece of paper from a large wooden box where my topic would be written. The slip stated, "Your most embarrassing experience". I went up the stage and composed my thoughts as a stage hand affixed a lapel mic by my chest...the whole auditorium went dead in anticipation of what I was about to say...I gophered for words but my mind went completely blank...I opened my mouth to come up with something halfway intelligent but it seemed like I've forgotten how to use my vocal chords to even form a sound...Then the crowd broke in pandemonium as someone from the audience screamed, "Go home and plant camote!!!" I hurried from the stage and tripped by the stairs as I tried to get out of there as quickly as I could...

That definitely was embarrassing, at least should I have that dream again, I would have something to say...haha...

In reality, I have never had an experience that I consider truly embarrassing until about three weeks ago, that is...a forum friend suggested that I send my resume to this dude who works for a cable TV station. Apparently, they were looking for new talents. I didn't know exactly what the position would be but I e-mailed him my credentials anyway. The dude responded immediately and advised that I see him in person over the weekend in a mall event that their station was sponsoring. Hmmm...that was indeed odd, my initial thoughts included whether I would need to wear something corporate or whether it would be an interview or what the heck was I expected to do anyway. I sent him a message asking what I would need to prepare and was given a one-liner that basically says I should bring my resume and that he would be hard to miss.

The affair turned out to be a full scale sports event complete with a multitude of fans and TV crew. I finally found the dude amongst a sea of smelly, basketball jersey-clad teenagers. He shook my hand and told me to wait by the bleachers (the makeshift room was made to look like a basketball courtside) for further instructions.I noticed that I was the only girl in the room...the only girly girl, that is.

A wide screen TV was showing an NBA Finals game between the Lakers and the Pistons...I watched for about a couple of minutes after which my mind started to drift somewhere else. Although I understand the game, I've never been an NBA fan despite my personal history as a die-hard Bgy. Ginebra addict when I was in second grade...haha...

I love this game...NOT!

The dude just about then interrupted my thoughts, handed me a headset and instructed me to sit by the 'sidelines' where the media would be in a real basketball court...turned out, I was in line for an audition for dig this, Sportscaster! No way, I didn't sign up for this...

I wouldn't have minded really, I've always wanted to do play-by-play commentary for a host of sports I'm interested in...tennis, swimming, gymnastics, beach volley, F1 racing...but they wanted me to do commentary for an NBA game! Okay, I know crap about the league, much less about the players, but I'm willing to try anything once so needless to say, I went for the task with the prodding of all the other guys in the room who seemed rather amused that a girl had the guts to try out for a field dominated by men.

It was the most excruciating 10 or 15 minutes of my life...I wouldn't bore you with the details, but just to give you an idea, I made comments like, "Shaq is 8 out of 15 from the two-point area, that can't be good, right?" Of course, it can't be good...a two year old would know...

The dude who told me to come obviously wasn't impressed and he didn't make an effort to hide it. In between my spiels, I asked, quite sweetly, if I may say so, "I get it I'm doing badly?" which was actually designed to merit some sympathy but to which he replied unapologetically, "YES!"

At least the audience were mostly oblivious of all the crazy things I said which was good...if there's one good thing about men, they're never catty...one guy even went so far as to walk up to me afterwards to say, I was brilliant! But then again, the same guy also asked me if I was a model and proceeded to ask for my number so according to him, he can recommend me to a VJ search their other cable channel was, still is, holding...I wasn't about to fall for that one now, although that was the first time I heard such a pick-up line...so of course, I left him empty-handed.

I left the venue as soon as I was able to get away from Mr.Are-you-a-model? in embarrassment.

Yet looking back, I now think it wasn't such a bad experience at all...it's one of those experiences that most everyone won't probably ever have...

I’m not in my Carrie Bradshaw zone right now so I’m going to make this quick and painless…

I was reading an old copy of In Style earlier and I ran across a picture of Rob Thomas with his wife at Hugh Hefner’s Halloween Ball last year. Although his wife is definitely not ugly, she nevertheless looked like a mud post next to gorgeous Rob.

Rob and Melissa (?)

Then there’s Jean Todt and Michelle Yeoh, Jude Law and Sadie Frost, Ethan Hawke and Uma Thurman, Frankenstein’s monster and his bride…the list goes on and on...what’s with this trend of clearly odd couples?


something's just not right...

They don’t even have to be world-famous, if you’re anything like me who considers people watching a sport, you find lopsided couples while waiting in line to purchase your usual macchiato, or trying on those Sigerson Morrison knock-offs. They’re everywhere! Good-looking dudes with less than attractive girlfriends in tow and uber-babes with boyfriends only their mothers can probably love.

Okay, that’s rude but you do get what I mean. I’ve always expected Kate Bosworths to always find their Orlando Blooms but apparently, that’s not how things go. This is such an intriguing phenomenon. I wonder why lovely people would want to be with not-so-lovely mates, perhaps, so as not to swerve the limelight away from them? Shallow but viable...

gorgeous orlando and babeacious babe Kate

I guess you really can’t choose who you like...or love...and you can’t really beat statistics either.

In tennis, they have this concept called ‘percentage play’, where all you have to do is focus on getting your first serves in and you can expect to win the game. The idea is that, players who have a high percentage of first serves in always win their matches so it’s just a matter of improving your serve and the rest of your game shall fall magically into place. Not everyone believes in this theory though...purists would most likely advocate reinforcing your forehand or backhand other than your serve to win but statistically, percentage play does work.

So if you’re gorgeous, expect to be with someone ugly and if you’re ugly, you can hope to snag someone beautiful. It's twisted I know but then again, they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, eh? It might not be so bad after all.

I'm really loving Ashlee Simpson right now...although some people think she's an Avril Lavigne/ Christina Aguilera knock-off, I really think the girl deserves credit for her talent and cheek, nonetheless. She first caught my attention in her first music video release, "Pieces of Me", mostly for the darling circle skirt with tulle underlining she's wearing with a white vest with "Punk" written across the chest. I soooo love the get-up, I dress more or less the same way after all, that is when I'm my usual, flamboyant self (see, Philosophy is A Talk...).


anyone who wears a cirle skirt with a tulle undelrining is meant to be a star...haha...

Her music is not bad either...a cross between Hole and Joan Jett with a sprinkling of PJ Harvey and a dash of Veruca Salt...a bit bubblegum, but has an edge to it, anyway. She reminds me a lot of Courtney Love, whose fashion sense and gritty sound, I've always admired...I was at the record bar yesterday basically just to kill time and I got a load of Ashlee's debut album in one of the listening stations...I would have bought the record if I hadn't gone to David Bitton first which is right beside the record store so for the meanwhile, a free earful of her music should suffice.

The girl can definitely sing and has a lot of personality to boot whereas there are loads of celebrities and pseudo-celebrities out there, especially locally, who have nothing to show more than a (not-so) pretty face. Local TV is swarming with talent searches and quests that are complete failures in finding real talent. The winners tend to be who looked the best among those who auditioned and not necessarily the ones who can actually sing or act. Consequentially, local entertainment is going to the dogs, ever faster than before...Case in point, people go gaga over a Korean personality who cannot sing, but has a record out nonetheless; who cannot speak good English or Filipino, but has a regular hosting stint, anyway; who cannot act, but who appears on several programs, and whose looks do not particularly stand out, but the masses revere her like as if she were Mother Theresa, incarnate.

A celebrity is born???

Now, I've never been much into local showbiz...in fact, I knew crap about local entertainment prior to my stint as a Promo Producer at ABS-CBN where I had two huge television sets right by my work station tuned in 24/7 to Channel 2, our channel and our biggest competitor, GMA 7. I was basically required to monitor all our own programs as well as the competition's to make sure that the ideas I come up with are timely, fresh and revolutionary. It was torturous but the job was ersatz glamorous and usually made people sit up and take notice so I was actually able to convince myself that I heartily enjoyed it. Anyway, after I quit, three years later, I'm back to my normal, anti-showbiz self.

But you have to admit it's just preposterous! I've always thought that singers ought to know how to sing and actors ought to know how to act but that's not how it is, nowadays. We have a female singer whose diction and vocal inflection irritates me to no end but who supposedly was a runner-up in a high-profile singing competition, a VJ in a music channel who manages to annoy rather than entertain with her high-pitched voice and uber-coquettish demeanor, a sportscaster who do not know the first things about billiards asking the tournament winner who he wants to greet rather than inquire on what his strategy in the game had been.

Needless to say, I no longer watch local TV but it seems that I cannot escape from these no-talent personalities nonetheless. Their faces are plastered all over EDSA, perched over low-rise buildings, printed on tarpaulines decorating mini-stores...plastered on walls and buses...when you ride a cab, or any public transport, their stupid songs and equally laughable voices are on the air waves...you surf for something sensible to watch on TV and you cannot avoid passing through these local channels with their insipid programs and daft actors. There is just no escape from the insanity of it all.

But as ruthlessly critical as I may sound, I actually advocate truthfulness to one's self. That Sprite campaign really hit the nail on the head...no one should be ashamed of the things that they like. After all, what we like defines us as individuals. Go ahead and dance to that "Spaghetti Song" to your heart's content, or unhook your phone when your fave 'fantaserye' is on...no one has the right to question your preferences, after all and you shouldn't be embarassed of the things you enjoy. Keep supporting that TV personality just because, it's your decision.

As for me, I will just do the best I can to dodge these so-called stars to the best of my ability...still, it wouldn't really change things, would it? Beautiful, maladroit people will continue to prosper at the expense of the truly brilliant ones who happen to be not as gifted in the looks department...it's not fair but life really isn't anyway...it's the bitter pill we all need to swallow, I guess.

Two entries in one day! Well, I gotta make up for yesterday, now, right?

I noticed that my journal is filled up with opinions and views more than the usual straight-forward account of everyday events...What can I say? I'm a highly-opinionated person and I just gotta, gotta overanalyze things, all the time...

No wonder my Ph 103, Philosophy of Religion, professor in college, actually suggested that I try out for a slot at my school's faculty to teach, yep, you guessed it right, Ph 103. The 'invite' came after I supposedly astounded him with my impeccable philosophizing during my final orals that last semester at university. He gave my efforts a B+, which was really like an A since he has very high standards, and virtually no one merits anything higher than a B from him, after all. I never really took his suggestion seriously, I'm not really the professor type after all, even though I teach ESL now, part-time.

But anyway...

I received a text from a girlfriend at around 1 pm yesterday inviting me to her workmate's birthday bash in Makati for that night. I found the invite a bit off-beat because firstly, the celebrator is unknown to me although supposedly we have met at a wedding a month and a half earlier, and secondly, aside from my friend, I would probably know no one else at the event. I hesitated for a moment and asked if it won't be too weird to come to a virtual stranger's celebration. My friend assured me it's not such a big deal and that she can do with someone she really knows as she wasn't quite sure whether she'd know many people, too.

I accepted the invite mostly because I seldom say no to the prospect of something to do nowadays... freelancing renders me with more time than I can actually use so I always jump at any opportunity to do anything out of the ordinary...and crashing (well almost) a 'stranger's' party sounds like it might actually be fun.

So, we arrived at the venue about half past ten last night to a group of people who initially stared us up and down like a particularly hideous metal sculpture. The party had a theme - the birthday girl wanted all her guests to come in their best mod look...I didn't bother come in costume as I practically invited myself to the event, must be why we got eyed so earnestly...I just slapped on sixty-ish eyeliner to look a tad modish and perhaps blend in with the crowd, and wore pink plastic hoop earrings that clashed, I might say, quite intriguingly with my anime-inspired haistyle (think Karin Aoi of DNA 2, except I have red streaks instead of blue).

Her only dream is to have a loving husband and a beautiful house with a cute pet...really...

As expected, my friend and I knew no one at the event, which wasn't exactly a setback, if you ask me...I'm the type who can always do with a couple of new friends, anyway. By the reaction of the mod girls at the party however, you'd almost think they recognized our faces from behind the local 7-11's cashier among the melange of people caught shoplifting anything from lime mint tic tacs to tampons. Whada? That didn't really intimidate me, I'm the bitchiest bitch I know, after all. Ha! By the end of the night, these girls would practically wish they never got in my way at all...Hmmm...

The celebrator, meanwhile, turned out to be a super cool chick with an uber-preppy fashion sense and the friendliest demeanor I have ever chanced upon in a while. Claude, that's her, graciously received us in the dining area cum dance floor and led us to the buffet table filled with food, then introduced us to her other guests, who despite the general snootiness turned out to be quite an animated, enjoyable bunch to talk to! Okay, bitch mode, deactivate! I can actually be friends with these people, they're quite cool, apparently.

This incident got me thinking...

I have a knack for befriending people, in fact, I can get along with almost anyone. I'd like to think I'm really quite flexible. I used to have a note tacked inside my notebook with William Blake's wisdom written on it, "The bird, a nest...man, friendship." This analogy has always made the most sense to me. I've always valued my friends, sometimes even more than my family. As I read in a magazine article before, friends are the family WE CHOOSE. Unlike our relatives who HAVE to love us, friends love us because they WANT to. Think about it...

I used to be picky with who I talk to but I soon decided that anyone who wants to be friends with me ought to be my friends, too. I don't want to be a bigot, after all. Unless you're a total, incurable psychopath, then who am I to refuse my friendship, right?

I was thus, totally affronted when some schmuck rebuffed my friendship for no apparent reason. It's not like we met while lining up for a macchiato at a coffee shop. We met through common friends, worked together on one occasion and we're practically neighbors, too. Well, he didn't exactly say he didn't want to be friends but his actions practically screamed, "I don't want to have anything to do with you!"

I'm not one to force myself on people so the moment I got those hostile vibes, I ran away from him, faster than Marion Jones could have ran. I must admit I'm still a little bit bothered by it, though. People, especially kids and the elderly,(don't ask why, I have no idea...) have always gravitated towards me like metal shavings to a magnet. So, what made this dude avoid me like the plague?

Our common friend offered that Mr. Dude thought that I liked him THAT WAY. And, so? I admit I found him cute but I never ever suggested nor said anything that even vaguely hinted I wanted to be more than just friends. I was just being my usual friendly self, for heaven's sake! I treat every one of my pals, guys or gals alike, the same way. And if he found that odd...frankly, I do not have the patience to change his mind. Anyone who refuses friendship just because he assumes something unfounded is a yeeech in my book.

Okay, I just had to say these...Mr. Dude made me contemplate a lot on what friendship really means, after all. This episode reminded me of a scene in Swimfan (a crappy flick, but that's beside the point...), which is not entirely applicable but what Erika Christensen's character said totally made sense. Jessie Bradford's character freaked out when Erika visited with flowers. He asserted to her that they're "just friends". "What's wrong", she asked..."Friends come over to their friend's houses with flowers to say hi..." Indeed, what's so bizarre about treating your friends graciously?...now Erika turned out to be a psycho wreck but that's another story, I'm defintely not a psycho wreck and frankly, I've never done more than say hi via text to Mr. Dude. So what's the deal? I really want to know...

But on closer scrutiny, heck, I don't really care...I'll just continue being friends with those who are worth my friendship, I think, and to hell with these full-of-themselves types who will probabaly spend the rest of their lives alone.

Sweet...

It's the first ever F1 Chinese Grand Prix in Shanghai and although right this moment the race is only 16 laps over with forty to go...I never recall being so happy of late....yes, Oprah, there might be hope for me after all!

So what's there to be ecstatic about? In 16 laps Schumi has already spun twice and already took Klien out of the race by ramming into the Jaguar's left rear tire. This just proves that Schumi is not all that...Now, don't get me wrong, I have absolutely nothing against the guy, despite his history of cunning, and cheating, and I'm not being ecsatatic over his misery. It's just that I think Michael is overrated. Waaay overrated, in fact.

Michael spinning uncontrollably in Saturday qualifying

Granted he is a good driver but he's quite short of the infallible racer everyone makes him up to be. He just happens to have the best package in the circuit...the fastest car, the best mechanics and a valiant cohort (I'm talking about his sort of lapdog, Rubens, I feel so sorry for the dude for honestly, he is a much better driver), who will drop anything short of a life-saving operation to come to his aid just to get him to cross the checkered flag at the fore of the order.

I've always argued that it's the car, not the driver that is faultless! Put a monkey in a friggin' Ferrari and the monkey will go all the way to the end of every Grand Prix and capture the World Championship at the end of the season...Schumi barely has to lift his pinkie to win nowadays. All he has to do is sit behind the wheel of his superior F2004 and expect to leave everyone in the dust in every race. How is that heroic? For me, real talent is when you challenge all odds and manage the impossible. Schumi meanwhile, just happens to be well, lucky.

He sold his soul to the devil...
what else could explain the fact that he hasn't had a bad luck in five years?

Take my fave driver, Kimi Raikkonen, for example. Yep the guy is gorgeous but that's not the only reason I'm behind him one hundred percent. His team Mc Laren, has been crappy, and that's to put it mildly, all season. In 15 GPs, the wretched MP 4-19a and b have managed to finish less than half those races. And the other half? Mostly pathetic results no thanks to the car's dismal handling and balance and the Michelin's less than reliable performance. But what's heroic about the Ice Man is that he tries to do the best he could everytime and in those races when the MP 4-19b held on long enough to go through the end of the races, the guy managed not only points positions (in the top 8) but also a podium finish and even a win in Belgium! Now you just have to admire that!

As I write this, Kimi is currently in 2nd place behind Rubens and in a good position to capture the Chinese GP crown...as inconsequential as an F1 race may seem, I do get inspired by it especially when I'm in one of these wistful moods.

Kimi racing Rubens for the lead

Life is like a race anyway and indeed, we all just have to do the best we can under any circumstances. We ought to learn to improvise and think quickly and imaginatively to survive these challenges. You know how in space missions when they encounter a problem in the ship the support crew back on earth gathers every similar item or device that the space crew has on board from which they try to devise something from these materials that will help the ship's problem? I reckon it's something similar to that...we have to make do with the tools that we have to come up with something ingenious that will successfully solve our dilemmas. It's a matter of banking on our personal artilleries, a matter of merging certain qualities that might just tackle the challenge on hand.

Race finally over...3rd place finish for Kimi and Mc Laren...not bad considering the crappy pit stop strategy they employed, aaarrg! when will they ever learn? But at least it's a podium finish...I'm not about to complain...


watch him shine brighter in 2005

Have you ever tried something because the idea seemed good, even challenging at that moment, stuck at it to prove to yourself, or more so to others, that you can but then realized that what you're doing sucks big time yet quitting is not an option because you've been at it for quite sometime and you wouldn't want all the efforts you've rendered to be all for naught? Whew!

Yes? Yes?

You don't happen to be a vegetarian, do you?

I started my pesco-veggie lifestyle, which means I eat seafood, generally fish, other than veggies, a little more than a couple of years ago mostly for kicks. I have strict veggie friends, some of them vegans, who are either Buddhists or animal rights activists but I'm neither. Still, the prospect of doing something not a lot of people can probably keep to appealed to me. It hasn't been too difficult actually. In fact, I don't miss meat, at all. And my eating habits prove to be a good ice-breaker. New acquaintances are always interested to know. Yet although vegetarianism has achieved some level of popularity everywhere, the concept still astounds most people and a few have in fact looked at me like I were a moon rock on display. Yet in hindsight, I realized it doesn't really bother me at all.

My tastes have mostly been underground after all. I've always gone for things that won't normally interest the general public. I'm different, a little weird, definitely abnormal and I like being so. Who needs to be normal if it means blending in with the crowd? As a textbook Leo, the limelight loves me, oh yes, and I'm not afraid to stand out.

For one, whereas they're like a daily uniform for most people, I only wear jeans when I want to be invisible...like nowadays...but that's another story. Also, whereas most everyone would shy away from it, I consider orange a neutral color and I have orange everything from shoes to cosmetics to bags, to fish...I have an unusually high tolerance for pain which is why I like piercings and tattoos, to the chagrin of my nice, clean-cut friends, and I suggest for everyone to get at least one.


My Baby Phat tat...yes, I'm a walking advert...

I usually have ice cream for breakfast and Oreo O's Creme Xtreme for dinner. So yes, being a veggie doesn't necessarily mean you have to eat healthy...and that's the best thing about it...Ha! =)

My favorite scent is of freshly mown grass which makes a lot of my friends gag. I tune in to
"Ang Dating Daan" to be entertained. What? I regard Bro. Ely Soriano as one of the funniest people ever...next to the National Bookstore sales ladies that is, who tell you a book is unavailable even before you tell them the title.

I also follow MLS like as if it were the Spanish League and cheer for the NY/NJ Metrostars like as if they were Real Madrid.

And I truly believe that the Charlotte Hornets can one day bag the NBA crown...okay, that one's just impossible by any stretch of the imagination, but you get the point.

I'm not a fan of normalcy and I advocate originality and taking risks anytime. Go against the conventions...step away from the flock...choose the unpopular route for once. Take it from Paulo Coelho in his book Veronika Decides To Die, you only live to the fullest when you have nothing to lose, when you leave all your fears and inhibitions behind and start to take on life without any reserves. We can all benefit from running amok once in a while...go ahead, go crazy...

I know people who keep complaining about their dead-end jobs...slaving to the grind for four years in the best universities then ending up as a sort of a 'stress ball' for irate customers, half a world away, in a friggin' call center...or worse, tied up in a high-profile job that is also high-stress and just too damn hard. I've had a pseudo-glamorous TV career which I decided to leave behind after it almost killed me. I can do without 72-hour-straight-no-time-for-even-a-wink projects and shooting trips to remote towns in China where I contracted the Haemophillus virus not too long ago, thank you very much. And I can definitely do with a lot more rest and relaxation. Lately, I just couldn't be bothered to get another glitzy job...after a while, you realize it takes more from you than it actually provides...I'd rather indulge in something brainless that will make me happier and more fulfilled than try and live up to people's perceived notions of what being successful means.

After all, who says you can't be a painter or a folk singer in a bar when you have a degree in molecular biology? Or a barista when you used to be a producer on TV? I say, do something you like and that which you enjoy...to hell with the money...and the prestige! Yes, you would most likely be feasting on instant noodles and crackers every single night and would probably need to send yourself to rehab to curb your shopaholism, but then again, you'll also be happier! Sometimes, you just have to take the plunge...muster the courage to get out of your comfort zone and explore the world beyond. Just let go...maybe this should be the new tag line for a new Nike campaign?

A friend sent me a text message which I have since kept in my inbox...being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to see beyond the imperfections of life and live by faith one day at a time.

Sweet...I should really be taking my own advice...

Is it just me or is anyone else bummed about Animax now broadcasting in English? Anime for Everybody my friggin' ass...

Anime should be in Japanese...period. I know it has been in English for a while but I still cannot make peace with that fact. Apparently, Animax decided to broadcast in the universal language to attract mainstream viewers most of whom do not like to read subtitles. I say, if you decide to like anime, learn Nihonggo for heaven's sake, or if that's too much for your poor brain to manage, then learn to double task and friggin' read the subtitles!

It might not be so bad if the American seiyuu (voice talents) is at least halfway decent, but what's up with these voice talents sounding like pathetic dweebs trapped in a remote mountain abode? Take Get Backers for instance...much of the series' appeal comes from the interesting personalities of the characters masterfully embodied in the edgy, even curious, delivery of the original seiyuu.


"Dakkanya", Retrieval Specialists

One of the main characters Mido Ban sounds oh-so-sexy and is just reeking with attitude but alas! His English voice makes him seem like a fag resolutely locked in the closet.

beware of his 'jagan', the evil eye

Ginji Amano is supposed to be innocent and child-like but his English voice just makes him seem annoying and whiny!

chibi Ginji who has the power of a 'denki unagi' or electric eel

No, I'm not over-reacting...anime is just meant to be watched in Japanese, that's all...if you can't like it that way, then you are not cut up to be a real otaku (fan), so my advice? Leave it!

So what brought this ranting about? I don't know, it's just that there seem to be a lot of things to spew invectives about lately. No matter what Oprah says, finding something to be truly happy about is like pulling teeth...looking for the proverbial needle in a haystack has got to be easier, really.

Just open your TV...Living up to my new title of TV junkie, no thanks to my patchy relationship with Mr. Sandman (see previous entry), I got to watch quite a few programs till the wee hours this morning.

First on my list is a show called, The Fifth Wheel, which according to it's opening spiel, "we put four strangers together and after they have paired up, we throw in the fifth wheel"...how low is that, really?

I've seen a few episodes where twenty-something losers get hot and heavy with each other within seconds of meeting...hmmm...now it's one thing to be adventurous but these guys just come across as well, desperate and desperately horny, too! At least you win 50 grand in Fear Factor after downing a giant mug of worms, beetles and pig snout shake but in this show, the participants make total fools of themselves for nothing but half an hour of infamy! I gotta admit it makes for great entertainment though especially if there's nothing else on but after a while, you start to question God whatever happened to basic human decency...

Next channel please...

HBO...Oooh...that's the white lighter from Charmed, what's his name again? Yep, I remember, Brian Krause...he looks so young in this movie and he plays a...sleepwalker...What's a sleepwalker, you ask? The novelist, Stephen King made them to be creatures who eat humans, look like the Predator (as in Arnold Schwarzenegger's nemesis...go figure...)in front of mirrors and are very, very afraid of cats...can you say lame??? okay, the book was written in the early 90's so cut Mr. King some slack...

Next program...

Conan O'Brien! Funny, funny guy...I've always considered the dude a genius...a Harvard degree and a quirky personality...perfect combination!


"No, Mr. Conan, sir, I didn't do it!"

So far, so good, till the final guest performed on stage...Tears for Fears! God, I loved Tears for Fears although I may be seven when they first shot to fame...can't wait to hear what they're up to now...I don't believe this! Tears for Fears, former New Wave rockers, now bubblegum pop geezers...and their new sound doesn't exactly fit their higher hairlines or baggier skins...jeez...

Okay, I think I've had enough TV...And I'm still so bored...There has got to be something better to do...but until then,

Yamette! Kurashiitte kudasai!

Ah...sleep...such a priceless commodity! At least for me...

For the nth time in the last few weeks, I woke up groggily at around 2 o'clock in the afternoon after barely a couple of hours of fragmented, restless sleep...

I've tried everything from warm baths to warm milk to watching the most boring of documentaries from New Zealand glow worms to meer cats' mating habits (which wasn't too boring, I must admit...hmmmm...), and I still cannot sleep! Tossing and turning at least a couple million times in bed every night has become THE way of life for me, lately...God, I never thought I can ever be an insomniac. "Sleepless Sugar" is an oxymoron worse than "business ethics", if you ask me...sheesh...

Now, I really don't understand...Mr. Sandman used to be one of my very best friends. I have never had to beg him to come visit when I need him and he knows how to keep his distance when he's not wanted. I might even say he'd make such a cool boyfriend (never clingy, never asssuming) if it weren't for his garish taste in clothes or his horrific looks, for that matter.

He's such a hottie, isn't he?

As proof of this rather harmonious relationship, I've always been able to fall asleep anytime, anywhere and yep, even with my eyes wide open while pretending to listen attentively to a friend's mindless chatter...erm, when I'm too tired to listen sometimes which isn't frequent, that is...=")

But in the past few weeks, Mr. Sandman has gotten quite cold...almost always late to arrive until recently, he has completely severed his ties with me. He just fled and never returned, intending to keep out of sight until apparently, I learn to respect him more. I have always taken him for granted after all. Chasing him away most nights...well, I can't help it when I'm out all night partying or there's something really good on TV now, can I?

Needless to say, I haven't had a good night's sleep in weeks and it might as well have been forever. I have always been bedecked in Louis Vuittons since...which I wouldn't mind on my arms but heck, they're right under my eyes! I have luggage under my eyes!

Before my breakup with Mr. Sandman, the likelihood of me being an insomniac is about as big as the Hornets' chances of ever capturing the NBA crown. Well, it seems like nothing is impossible after all...Hmmm...think I should maybe start putting my money on the Hornets for next season?

And as if being an insomniac is not already quite pathetic, I'm also rather bored to death that I might start literally chewing nails! You know how caged animals chew on their cages or even on themsleves out of boredom? I feel something similar to that...It's like I've reached a sort of plateau where simply nothing is happening...nothing positive, nothing negative, just plain big nothing! Like my life is in slow-motion, slowed to one-tenth speed while everything else around me is running in seventh gear behind the wheel of an MP4-19b (okay the Ferrari F2004 is admittedly faster but I've forever been a Mc Laren fan, so...)

Most times I feel like floating, like I'm here but not really here, or maybe I've practiced waaaay too much Wicca that I can have an OBE without even trying...

You know what this feeling reminds me of? Like Edward Norton's character in Fight Club...yep, that gem of a masterpiece by David Fincher (you just have to love the treatment and direction...natch!)...I'm feeling exactly like that...like I always have to pinch myself to know if I'm awake or just dreaming...it's kind of weird but also cool...I just wonder what my Brad Pitt half could be doing right this minute...


"1/4 or 1/2 moisturizer?"

I'm sure she wouldn't be bothered to write in an on-line journal out of boredom...she would surely be doing something unconventional...like collecting human fat from a hospital's bio-waste area to make them into soaps! Okay, I totally ripped that from the movie...but hell, it could be true you know?

Okay, sleeplessness can really make you bonkers so...hey, wait...Mr. Sandman? Is that you? Please don't leave....wait!!!!!!!!!!!