Sunday, February 26, 2006
Hurts so Good
Oasis is mostly known nowadays as a bunch of pissy divas (well, only Liam and Noel Gallagher actually but Liam & Noel = Oasis so that justifies qualifying the whole band as such…) who haven’t released anything fabulous since Definitely Maybe and (What’s the Story) Morning Glory? At least, not fabulous enough for a band that has pompously proclaimed itself as “the biggest rock and roll band in the world.” So just what was I thinking when I so willingly shelled out 100 bucks to see the Singapore leg of their current tour?
First-off, the crowd was iffy with tweeners composing one half and geriatrics, the other, complete with a woman apparently in her sixties clad in Oscar-worthy finery. I know, what the fuck? And when the band came out 45 minutes later than scheduled dressed in what looked like bland $15.77 Wal-mart buttondowns, everyone just continued to stand there, like they’re deep in concentration contemplating the answer to the Kato Conjecture. Well, I have news for you guys, it has been solved by Steve Hofmann so just ask him for the answer, okay?
Really now, the whole thing was a horrid, smaller-scale repeat of the effing Siloso beach NYE party (see “Beach Splash”). The crowd was drier than airplane air that I swear God, Allah, Shiva, Buddha or however you call him, could have swooped down the stage and performed an Ashley Simpson jig and no one would have batted an eye!
Divalicious!
Second-off, not being big on showmanship themselves, Oasis also just basically stood there as well, Liam leaning on the mic stand in a half squat that couldn’t have been comfortable, singing a series of analogous non-hits that totally reminded me of Bone Thugs N’ Harmony. Hello, E 1999 Eternal? This album is about the most monotonous ever recorded in the entire history of music recording. The friggin’ record contains 17 songs each with a different title but which nonetheless all sound the same.
My carpool-mate in college used to play this effing record and sang along with it with unwavering enthusiasm throughout the two-hour drive to school every goddamn awful day! I have contemplated whacking him in the head repeatedly with the CD case until he got a hint…or bled to death, whichever came first, but I didn’t have a license, still don’t, so what’s a girl to do but stick with the rule that says not to harm the hands that drive the cradle or something like that? On the upside, I bet that with hypnosis, I can subliminally recite the lyrics to the whole album, especially “Tha Crossroads” (and we pray, and we pray, and we pray, everyday, everyday, everyday…) which I’m sure you would agree, is really kind of cool…the same way being able to read a book upside down or reciting the alphabet backwards is…yep, I can be such a dork and don’t you just love it, love it, love it?
So anyway, despite my best efforts to make the whole facsimile of a sham of a concert by supposedly the best rock and roll band in the world worth it, I found out that dancing like mad and howling like crazy simply do not cut it in a crowd full of zombies. The woman in the gown actually turned to me at one point and shushed me. Shushed me! In a rock concert! For real!
Nearly an hour of completely indistinguishable songs later, Oasis finally accepted that most of their new materials are crap and started to perform real songs beginning with Champagne Supernova followed by their biggest hit, Wonderwall. But then all of a sudden, the lights went out and next thing I know, the band has left the stage. Whada??? Of course, there was an encore, all of a couple of forgettable singles and my most favorite Oasis song, yes, I do have a favorite, Don’t Look Back in Anger for the finale. Then they’re off the stage again, this time for good.
Last time I checked, a concert lasts 2-3 hours long so yeah, can you say total rip-off? I practically heard my money wailing when I parted with it at the ticket booth. I should have heeded its pleas. But then again, money and me is a pairing as tragic as chocolate cake and gravy or Tom and Katie. So, it's all for the best I guess.
First-off, the crowd was iffy with tweeners composing one half and geriatrics, the other, complete with a woman apparently in her sixties clad in Oscar-worthy finery. I know, what the fuck? And when the band came out 45 minutes later than scheduled dressed in what looked like bland $15.77 Wal-mart buttondowns, everyone just continued to stand there, like they’re deep in concentration contemplating the answer to the Kato Conjecture. Well, I have news for you guys, it has been solved by Steve Hofmann so just ask him for the answer, okay?
Really now, the whole thing was a horrid, smaller-scale repeat of the effing Siloso beach NYE party (see “Beach Splash”). The crowd was drier than airplane air that I swear God, Allah, Shiva, Buddha or however you call him, could have swooped down the stage and performed an Ashley Simpson jig and no one would have batted an eye!
Second-off, not being big on showmanship themselves, Oasis also just basically stood there as well, Liam leaning on the mic stand in a half squat that couldn’t have been comfortable, singing a series of analogous non-hits that totally reminded me of Bone Thugs N’ Harmony. Hello, E 1999 Eternal? This album is about the most monotonous ever recorded in the entire history of music recording. The friggin’ record contains 17 songs each with a different title but which nonetheless all sound the same.
My carpool-mate in college used to play this effing record and sang along with it with unwavering enthusiasm throughout the two-hour drive to school every goddamn awful day! I have contemplated whacking him in the head repeatedly with the CD case until he got a hint…or bled to death, whichever came first, but I didn’t have a license, still don’t, so what’s a girl to do but stick with the rule that says not to harm the hands that drive the cradle or something like that? On the upside, I bet that with hypnosis, I can subliminally recite the lyrics to the whole album, especially “Tha Crossroads” (and we pray, and we pray, and we pray, everyday, everyday, everyday…) which I’m sure you would agree, is really kind of cool…the same way being able to read a book upside down or reciting the alphabet backwards is…yep, I can be such a dork and don’t you just love it, love it, love it?
So anyway, despite my best efforts to make the whole facsimile of a sham of a concert by supposedly the best rock and roll band in the world worth it, I found out that dancing like mad and howling like crazy simply do not cut it in a crowd full of zombies. The woman in the gown actually turned to me at one point and shushed me. Shushed me! In a rock concert! For real!
Nearly an hour of completely indistinguishable songs later, Oasis finally accepted that most of their new materials are crap and started to perform real songs beginning with Champagne Supernova followed by their biggest hit, Wonderwall. But then all of a sudden, the lights went out and next thing I know, the band has left the stage. Whada??? Of course, there was an encore, all of a couple of forgettable singles and my most favorite Oasis song, yes, I do have a favorite, Don’t Look Back in Anger for the finale. Then they’re off the stage again, this time for good.
Last time I checked, a concert lasts 2-3 hours long so yeah, can you say total rip-off? I practically heard my money wailing when I parted with it at the ticket booth. I should have heeded its pleas. But then again, money and me is a pairing as tragic as chocolate cake and gravy or Tom and Katie. So, it's all for the best I guess.
Friday, February 10, 2006
Meme
I like memes but I’m usually too lazy to do them but here’s breaking my vow of dormancy for a wee bit because Zydeco Fish tagged me. I wouldn’t have but he has one of the coolest blogs there is so I feel absolutely compelled. ;) Here goes:
Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so.
1. sara
2. kirk
3. shelly
4. zydeco fish
5. drizzlenightsky
Then you get to select five people to pass the love on to so they can do this meme, like so:
1. Boomer Palaris
2. r3d3L
3. Marj
4. Nancy
5. Dan
What were you doing 10 years ago?
Trying to get decent grades while studying as little as possible at university…In hindsight, I probably would have had a much easier time if I just studied as much as I could to get good marks…
What were you doing 1 year ago?
Freelancing as producer, director, ESL teacher, writer, editor, contributor, and everything else that ends in “er” or “or.”
Five snacks you enjoy:
1. Cheddar Cheese!
2. Kettle Chips Salt & Vinegar
3. Bola-Bola Siew Pao
4. Mango with Sticky Rice
5. Doritos Salsa Verde
Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:
1. Semi-Charmed Life by Third Eye Blind…a minor achievement, I'm sure you would agree if you’re familiar with this song
2. Sometimes by Britney Spears…the perfect Videoke number
3. Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus…an anthem of sorts
4. I Remember You by Skid Row…what will be my wedding song (?)
5. Wasted Time by Skid Row…because Sebastian Bach was just so gorgeous
Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
1. Buy a Chihuahua and name it “Twinklebell” or “Twink” for short
2. Publish a book called “Confessions of a Dominatrix”…I mean, “Diva”
3. Launch a street fashion line, “Chwink”
4. Remake Britney Spear’s “I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman” using a grating falsetto
5. Make a sex video…because every millionaire should have one circulating in the net!
Five bad habits:
1. Hitting “snooze” 50 million times before finally getting up in the morning
2. Blogging at work
3. Spending inordinate amounts of time browsing ONTD
4. American Idol
5.Shopping on impulse!
Five things you like doing:
1. sleeping for 14 hours
2. reading
3. writing
4. surfing
5. going on road trips
Five things you would never wear again:
1. shoulder pads...how did those even come into style?
2. culottes
3. skorts (combination skirt and shorts)
4. high-waisted pants/jeans
5. moon boots
Five favorite toys:
1. Bop It Extreme
2. Frazzled
3. video camera
4. Final Cut Pro/ Adobe Premiere
5. Mp3 player
Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so.
1. sara
2. kirk
3. shelly
4. zydeco fish
5. drizzlenightsky
Then you get to select five people to pass the love on to so they can do this meme, like so:
1. Boomer Palaris
2. r3d3L
3. Marj
4. Nancy
5. Dan
What were you doing 10 years ago?
Trying to get decent grades while studying as little as possible at university…In hindsight, I probably would have had a much easier time if I just studied as much as I could to get good marks…
What were you doing 1 year ago?
Freelancing as producer, director, ESL teacher, writer, editor, contributor, and everything else that ends in “er” or “or.”
Five snacks you enjoy:
1. Cheddar Cheese!
2. Kettle Chips Salt & Vinegar
3. Bola-Bola Siew Pao
4. Mango with Sticky Rice
5. Doritos Salsa Verde
Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:
1. Semi-Charmed Life by Third Eye Blind…a minor achievement, I'm sure you would agree if you’re familiar with this song
2. Sometimes by Britney Spears…the perfect Videoke number
3. Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus…an anthem of sorts
4. I Remember You by Skid Row…what will be my wedding song (?)
5. Wasted Time by Skid Row…because Sebastian Bach was just so gorgeous
Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
1. Buy a Chihuahua and name it “Twinklebell” or “Twink” for short
2. Publish a book called “Confessions of a Dominatrix”…I mean, “Diva”
3. Launch a street fashion line, “Chwink”
4. Remake Britney Spear’s “I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman” using a grating falsetto
5. Make a sex video…because every millionaire should have one circulating in the net!
Five bad habits:
1. Hitting “snooze” 50 million times before finally getting up in the morning
2. Blogging at work
3. Spending inordinate amounts of time browsing ONTD
4. American Idol
5.Shopping on impulse!
Five things you like doing:
1. sleeping for 14 hours
2. reading
3. writing
4. surfing
5. going on road trips
Five things you would never wear again:
1. shoulder pads...how did those even come into style?
2. culottes
3. skorts (combination skirt and shorts)
4. high-waisted pants/jeans
5. moon boots
Five favorite toys:
1. Bop It Extreme
2. Frazzled
3. video camera
4. Final Cut Pro/ Adobe Premiere
5. Mp3 player
Thursday, February 09, 2006
It's Mmm...Mmm...Good!
Been back in Singapore for exactly three days now and I’m still feeling quite rundown with the endless coffee trysts, get-together dinners, amusement park dates and out-of-town weekends with family and friends whom I have not seen in a year or so. Don’t get me wrong, it had been a blast but I would have liked to come back looking refreshed like I’ve been cruising along the Mediterranean enjoying Mojitos sent over by handsome strangers named “Jorge” and “Enrico” and not like I’ve been housekeeping for the entire two weeks for a household of twelve while at the same time sitting half a dozen incredibly smelly Saint Bernard’s on the side.
Who knew vacations could be quite so taxing? Next time, remind me not to plan on about seventy million things to do within a short period of time unless there’s a place at the Guinness Book of World Records for me at stake.
Of course the complete and utter exhaustion has been well worth it. I totally relished the bitchfests with equally vile friends, the delectable food, the eventful roadtrips, my favorite haunts, even the ultra-hardcore rides at the newly opened park in a posh district that made me feel like a particularly tiny pea in a gigantic pod. Everything that makes coming home something to look forward to!
Yep, everything had been great...up until I went to check my bank balance and find my account almost wiped out. Having Rebecca Bloomwood as an icon sure doesn't help so yeah, it will be a date with a certain gentleman named “Campbell” for me every night from here on.
At least, he’s yummy. I can take solace in that.
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Who knew vacations could be quite so taxing? Next time, remind me not to plan on about seventy million things to do within a short period of time unless there’s a place at the Guinness Book of World Records for me at stake.
Of course the complete and utter exhaustion has been well worth it. I totally relished the bitchfests with equally vile friends, the delectable food, the eventful roadtrips, my favorite haunts, even the ultra-hardcore rides at the newly opened park in a posh district that made me feel like a particularly tiny pea in a gigantic pod. Everything that makes coming home something to look forward to!
Yep, everything had been great...up until I went to check my bank balance and find my account almost wiped out. Having Rebecca Bloomwood as an icon sure doesn't help so yeah, it will be a date with a certain gentleman named “Campbell” for me every night from here on.
At least, he’s yummy. I can take solace in that.
